Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The FB Debate

How do you feel about Facebook?

I have a love/ hate relationship going on right now. I love that I can keep up with friends through photos, status updates, and wall posts, but on the other hand, I hate that I can keep up with friends through photos, status updates, and wall posts. . . without having to call or text.

But also I hate it because of what it's become, to our society and our culture, to individuals and to businesses .... with its own set of rules and regulations straddling the right of free speech.  Do you think I will be logging on next Tuesday when either Romney or Obama edges out the other?  Hell no.  I can't stand how people get so hot headed and make hurtful (and often ignorant) statements - whether about politics or even just in general.

Unintentionally, I've had my feelings hurt on social media and unintentionally, I've also hurt others.

It's enough to make me want to deactivate. .

But is it worth it?

Logistically, it's a few mouse clicks and I'm there.  

Psychologically, I am not addicted - that's not the concern ... Moreover, if I had to rank social media:  Facebok < Instagram < Twitter in my book ... 

But do I want to miss the engagement or pregnancy announcements?  The wedding photos of friends and family?  The excitement when a friend accomplishes a long time marathon goal?  The birthday reminders?  Watch friends move into new apartment and find new jobs in new cities ? Stalk that new boyfriend or girlfriend someone is head over heels in love with?

Of course, I don't want to miss that.

But do the negativity and the consequences outweigh the benefits? You decide.


  1. I am forever thankful that Facebook was not around when I was coming of age. I can't imagine the insecurities and negativity it would have brought into my life! I have similar sentiments as you regarding not wanting to miss photos, happy things. One of my favorite aspects of facebook is seeing what old friends/schoolmates are up to...But also, it exhausts me. It's as if there are two lives: Real Laura and Facebook Laura...two sets of friendships/work/family relationships to uphold. The obligation of aknowledging comments or "likes", or making sure to give my own when I should...it can wear me out! Also the "fear of missing out" syndrome that it brings. Oh, to think what that would have felt like in grade school, high school!
    I was off Facebook for 2 years after college, didn't miss it one bit. My boyfriend doesn't have it and has never really thought to. I don't use it on weekends, and if it starts bringing me down, I stop checking.
    This is such an amazing debate of our time...thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
    P.S. I have missed your blog!!!

  2. I'm still absolutely torn! I feel the same way. I go between hating it and needing it to be "in the know" everyday. I deactivate a lot in order to free myself of the temptation and desire to compare myself. Then I usually get back on for a legit reason like looking at wedding stuff or to message a friend! It's so complicated----let me know when you find the solution, haha...never!

  3. I share your feelings. I have started hiding people that I don't want to hear their opinions/rants.

  4. Unsubscribing from people is the best thing I've done on Facebook. Only the people I want to see show up on my newsfeed, but I am still friends with the others. I hide the ones who love to post sports rants, political posts, job complaints, and the people I barely know.

  5. Ahhhh Facebook.....I am so glad I never joined that social media outlet. I really enjoy reading blogs and laughing at twitter comments, but Facebook is a beast of its own. The damage people have done to their careers and personal lives is just plain mind boggling. I personally find it a a self indulgent, immature website. I know everyone does not share my opinion, but when I hear about what people have "posted", I just shake my head. Have they considered the consequences? I don't think so....nothing is private or "forever deleted" anymore.
    Thanks for opening this forum. I just don't see the allure with this website. It is all a bit too conceited for me.
    Charlotte, NC

  6. I feel the same way! I love the life updates and pictures but can't stand the political rants or useless statuses about standing in line forever or something like that.

  7. Facebook is the worst during an election. I catch myself typing replies to people's moronic comments...then stopping...and deleting it, knowing it's not worth it at all. I just try to hide the obnoxious ones and ignore the others because it really is how I keep in touch with friends and family across the country. My parents live 7 hours away and I'm definitely not a good phone person...so Facebook is a great way for my mom and I to keep close.

  8. ML, it's hard to admit but I am actively removing friends. I want to share with (and be shared with) only people I know, respect, love, and often time miss out on. I think Anna's comment is a great idea in order for you to refrain from deactivating! PS-removing friends sounds overwhelming but, my secret (awful but true) is to remove friends based on their birthdays - it's a constant reminder of who you don't know...

  9. I have the same problem. I love facebook for it's ability to let me stay connected to girls I graduated high school with, etc, but I hate all the drama on there. I've become a silent facebooker, and hardly ever post anything other than a 'happy birthday' here or there.